From Fed Up to Well Fed
I'm sitting at one of the tallest summits of Park Guëll on a stone tower I've yet to explore in the north of Barcelona, Spain. The four mile hike to get here has left my feet, in $26 shoes not meant for excursions like this, pulsating (but surprisingly not in pain).
In my yoga classes, I typically begin by inviting the students to feel into their bodies. Feeling into the points of the body that are connected with the solid earth. Connecting the wandering mind with the grounding earth. Feeling into the bones.
As my feet pulsate, it feels like the rhythm of Barcelona. As if with each step I felt into the city through the bones of my feet. Now they vibrate with the energy of Barcelona itself.
As I climbed the steep hill of Avinguda del Santuari de Sant Josep de la Muntanya which led to a staircase ascending further to Park Guëll, one thought kept crossing my mind:
"How did I get here?"
Not in the way "how did I get here" sometimes crosses ones mind, when, say, you are one hour into your work day, and it feels like you've been there all of your life, and you wonder "how did I go from that excited, optimistic college kid ready to take on the world to expense reports, endless conference calls, and taking "mental health days" to stay sane--not THAT particular "how did I get here". Or, say, the particular case when "how did I get here" flits through your brain waves as you eat yet another bite of cake or ice cream, knowing you didn't WANT to eat the cake or ice cream--but somehow, invasion of the body snatchers style, you find yourself hand to mouth eating more and more--berating yourself for having no will power or self control. With the best of intentions seemingly up in smoke, you think, "how the hell did I get here".
No--this kind of "how did I get here?"--THIS specific thought is the sort we dream of and remember the moments we feel it forever. You realize you have somehow managed to get to the perfect place at the perfect time, and you can't imagine what in the world you did right (and maybe a little wrong) to get here.
The Sagrada Familia is framed perfectly by pine trees in the vantage point from where I'm perched, blurred by a slight smog (either from city pollution or something off the glistening Mediterranean--I can't be sure). But somehow... I was led in perfect time in a perfect way to this exact moment.
The cranes are at work, finishing Sagrada Familia piece by piece. Construction is set to be completed in 2026, 100 years after Gaudi's death.
It's very possible we'll see it done in our lifetime.
It's very possible I'll return to Spain one day to see Gaudi's vision, and the architects who've done their best to see it followed, completed.
"How did I get here?"
It's a question I keep coming back to on this pilgrimage of sorts. I came on this trip not only travel, but also to work. And for the work I'm doing, I must ask: how did I get here? The program I'm working on makes big promises:
"Go from fed up to well fed."
How did I move from fed up to well fed? I can tell you I've been on the journey for over six years now. How can I sum up in six modules and 12 weeks what I have learned and all I have put in place over the last six years?
From moving to a vegetarian diet after a life of laissez faire eating into a gluten and dairy free life (after multiple visits to the doctor and abdominal scans and tests proved futile, and for a gal with no insurance, I needed answers). Then to vegan and studying Integrative Nutrition (and losing my period for years in the interim, and getting diagnosed with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea). Practicing Bikram Yoga nearly every day for two years. Juice cleanses. Smoothie cleanses. Detoxes. Studying yoga, learning about alignment in the body, and yoga philosophy and getting certified to teach. Beginning to teach cooking lessons. Developing a gluten free cornbread mix and selling it retail. Working with coaches like Erin Stutland and Alex Jamieson, because even coaches need coaches!
When I look back over it all and wonder how I got here, I realize... all the seemingly disparate parts and pieces have come together.
I was learning the language of my body.
It doesn't speak in diets.
It doesn't speak in cleanses or detoxes.
It doesn't speak in exercise regimes.
Control. Tyranny. Being a slave to rules.
I've spent the last three days in Barcelona, the city of Modernism. The most famous modernist being the architect of Sagrada Familia, Gaudi, at which I look down upon now.
Modernism --> no straight lines. Elements of nature in everything. All with a solid foundation of iron work.
This perfectly reflects the language of the body --> No straight lines. Deeply connected with nature. All with a solid foundation of bones--we can't change those!
I've moved from fed up to well fed. I continue moving in that direction.
It's my vision for all of us, and the path I choose to follow further. I invite you to join in! Why the heck not!?
p.s. Six years of learning the language of my body--I'm collecting it all and creating The Fed Up Fellowship: the tools and techniques I practice daily, from food (what we can choose to eat and why) to moving your body through yoga. Twelve weeks. I'll be opening early enrollment soon with special introductory pricing!
Sign up here: